3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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