try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
