Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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