I could have mohawked her pubes.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
