Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
