you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
