are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
