Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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