Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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