He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
