she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
my poor anus
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
