He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
