When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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