Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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