i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
