I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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