playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Barsexuality is the new black.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize
