My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The air was thick with penises
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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