Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
