His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
