she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
