They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
