ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
