I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
