your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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