Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
