He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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