i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
