it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
