Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I want her autograph on my taint
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
