I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
My pussy is not your playground.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
