Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
