when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
