we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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