whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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