you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
