i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
foreskin is a definite game changer
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
