so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
