Sry I called you an 8
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
