Can i not drive my cunt home
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
