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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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