how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
