We named our party play list daddy issues
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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