I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
