Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I puked a lego.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
