I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
