Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
