so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
