I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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