having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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